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How do I approach a loved one about substance abuse

If you think someone has a problem, it’s important to approach that person in a non-confrontational way—at least at first. And it’s always a good idea to get the advice of a qualified professional counselor before talking with someone about their substance use.

We do not recommend talking with a loved one when you are upset as a result of their drinking or drug use. The best approach is to take a step back and wait until the next day.

When discussing the problem, it’s important to be calm. Express your concern without name-calling, blaming, or accusing. Simply say that you care about them and have noticed that their use is affecting their life. Say that you would like them to see if they can stop their use on their own. If they can’t, ask them to consider getting professional help.

It is normal for those who abuse alcohol or drugs to react angrily when they are approached — even when it’s done in a gentle, caring manner. Arguing with them or becoming angry and lashing out at them will cause them to focus on that instead of their own use.

If your first approach doesn’t work, consider asking close friends and family to help you speak to the person about their use. Again, involving a professional counselor can be very helpful.

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